Source: Candace Schur (Facebook)
Usually when people disappear off the face of the earth you can assume things are going really bad for that person or really well. Well, I’m Still alive, still kickin’! Made some huge changes in my lifestyle but I’m still the same me.
I hit my rock bottom a year ago. Every day I woke up it felt like torture for years of my life. I hid it pretty well but eventually the negativity just started coming out and I couldn’t control it anymore. Add getting misdiagnosed as bipolar, going on medication that made me not be able to think straight and while that was happening I was always tired and starving myself just to be putting on weight at an alarming rate.
I let things go like getting my mail, cleaning, completely gave up on my looks and beauty routines. I couldn’t get enough sleep. I was living alone and I’d sometimes sleep for 15-20 hours straight. Eventually my cat would have to jump on top of my head to wake me up. Stopped wearing bras, shaving, and I even stopped showering as much because I would cry every time I caught a glimpse of what my body had become.
I started advocating for myself with the support of my partners and my family. Weaned off one medication at a time — it took almost a whole year to get my health and body back to normal. Even though I was never a daily drinker I was still drinking too much for me: I’m very sensitive to alcohol.
I got (correctly) diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): It was the best thing that could possibly happen to me. When you go through your life without treatment or knowing what it is — and wihtouht healthy ways to cope — it will make you feel anxious and overwhelmed 24/7. After being that way for so long, the depression comes.
I’m ready to let go of all of it. But I will never forget how I felt. I really try not to talk about it too much because it brings me back to that feeling like it was yesterday. I think time is the only thing that can heal. I’m done beating myself up or going over how I could’ve done things differently imagining all the different scenarios cause it’s in the past.
I’m back now! my band Candy Cavity will be back with a new lineup end of August — stay tuned for that. At work I’m busy AF; have made a ton of new clients. My bosses and coworkers are awesome and talented people. They helped me get my passion for hair back. We have a lot of fun too.
I’m hiding out at home a lot. Cooking a lot. I’m on an up-cycling clothing kick. I walk 5 miles every morning. I drink way more water than alcohol lol.
I’m looking forward to the future. Life is good. ♥️